- Tham gia
- Bài viết
- Được thích
The dreams of girls before marriage are something like this: the man of her dreams will love her alone, carry her in his arms, give flowers every day and shower compliments from head to toe, will be honest with her and faithful to her to the grave. Men draw in their heads something like this scenario of the development of family life: his beloved woman will unconditionally fulfill her marital duty, and exactly to the extent that he wants, while combining the role of a cook, a housekeeper and the mother of their common children. Alas, but all these are just stereotypes that, after entering into a legal marriage, are broken about the realities of family life. The first showdowns of relations, reproaches, accusations, scandals begin. All this leads to misunderstanding, cooling of feelings, and the relationship comes to a dead end. This is where both of them begin to visit thoughts about divorce. Partners go to reconciliation, somewhere in the depths of the soul there is a hope that the relationship will return to the stage before marriage. For some time there is peace and quiet in the family, until another quarrel breaks out, and so on in a circle. The spouses begin to understand that there is a crisis in their relationship, but none of them really knows how to live it without destroying the relationship and preserving the family. It is necessary to transform relations, to reach a new level. That's just how to do it?
The ideal option is when young people acquire initial knowledge about the psychology of the opposite sex. This knowledge is important and necessary for building a successful family relationship, as well as for minimizing conflicts and clarifying relationships. I would like to highlight some important points.
First, it is necessary to understand that there are two diametrically opposite psychologies — male and female, and, accordingly, two different ways of thinking and looking at the world. A man and a woman look at the same phenomenon differently simply because of their natural characteristics. A thought that can come to a woman's head will never visit a man and vice versa. They have different perceptions of information, priorities are set differently. Such differences are due to the peculiarities of the brain. Depending on the task, a man uses only the right or left hemisphere of the brain to solve it, while both hemispheres are turned on in a woman. Therefore, a man can only do one thing; a woman, on the contrary, can do several things at the same time. This difference in behavior and perception of the world is inherent in the behavior of our ancestors and is due to the fact that the work of our brain is programmed differently.
Secondly, the life stories of the spouses before marriage naturally differ: they grew up and were brought up by different parents, in different families with their own traditions and way of life, received different (in most cases) education, they had different social circles. Accordingly, the behavior of partners has been formed over the years under the influence of various circumstances, and it is almost impossible to change this behavior, and the character of a person overnight.
Thirdly, we should not discount the behavioral instincts laid down in us by our ancestors. A man is a hunter, a getter; a woman is a mother, a keeper of the hearth. In those ancient prehistoric times, it was simply impossible to survive alone, so a man and a woman lived in peace and harmony. She appreciated him for risking his life every day to get food for her and their children. He, in turn, appreciated her for caring for the offspring and, accordingly, for the continuation of their kind. Everyone saw and appreciated each other's contribution to the common cause. At the end of the day, the man rested by the fire after hunting and gained strength for a new working day. The woman guarded his peace, did not bother him with questions, and even more so did not reproach him for the lack of help from him around the house.
Fourth, it is impossible to discount the male and female functions that have developed over the centuries, in the course of evolution. A male hunter for a long time of his activity has developed the ability to perfectly navigate in space, and it was necessary to track down prey and not let it out of sight for a long time. This formed the man's so-called navigation, narrow vision, thanks to which it was possible to hold the target for a long time.
The woman, on the contrary, has developed a wide peripheral vision, due to the need to notice and eliminate danger at a short distance near the cave. So in the genes of men, the peculiarity of seeing at a long distance, but within 45 degrees, was imprinted, and in the genes of women-excellent peripheral vision within 180 degrees, but not further than the cave.
Fifthly, this is a diametric difference between a man and a woman in the communicative aspect, their speech functions have been formed over the centuries in view of different circumstances. A male hunter had to sit in ambush for a long time, tracking and lying in wait for prey. It was not possible to move for a long time, and even more so to utter any sounds. The woman stayed in the cave, and she had to talk with her children, as well as with other women. Accordingly, the speech centers of women are better developed than those of men.
By adolescence, talkative boys in childhood become silent, they answer questions in monosyllables. Girls, on the contrary, start talking a lot. This is due to the hormonal restructuring of the body.
When a problem arises, it is vital for a woman to speak out, to share her trouble with as many people as possible, and after that it becomes much easier for her. Men in such a situation behave differently: he plunges into himself in search of a solution to the problem, while he avoids all kinds of conversations and wants everyone to leave him alone. The problem is not discussed even with the best friends for fear of appearing weak.
And finally, the different level of testosterone in the blood of a man and a woman causes their difference in sexual desire. Men produce more testosterone than women. A man is ready to have sex at any time of the day, in any place, as soon as testosterone appears in his blood. This is explained by his natural ability to continue the human race and has been happening subconsciously since those ancient times, when even at the most dangerous moment for himself, he could inseminate a woman only in order to leave behind offspring. If a man's body has accumulated a huge amount of the hormone testosterone, he becomes aggressive, so he just needs to lose his excess.
Accordingly, we get two functions of the male hormone: childbearing and the release of aggression. Therefore, if a man does not have sex for a long time, quarrels and conflicts in the family become more frequent.
This implies a fundamental difference for men and women in relation to sex. For a man, love and sex are not the same thing, unlike a woman. Through sex, a man relieves tension, so you should not punish your husband by depriving him of intimacy, otherwise he will go in search of another woman. A woman, on the contrary, will not enter into intimate intimacy with another man without love. For her, "sex" and" making love " mean the same thing. Sex is secondary for her. If a woman goes to another man, then she loves him.